The R A N T of G L E N N glenn3@frontiernet.net
Glenn Jacobs / 130 N. Poverty Flat / Box 954 / Eagar, Arizona 85925 / 928-333-3517
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Why do they run such bad candidates?
Letter to the editor;
Major Party A and Major Party B choose candidates for President. They each start with a whole roomful and disqualify the good ones, one by one, until they each end up with the single most putrid, awful, stinking, liability of a candidate available.
“Central Casting? We need a worse candidate.”
“Worse than what we sent you? Who do you want? Dracula? Stalin? Satan?”
“Well, um, yeah. If they’re available.”
“Sorry. They’re all taken.”
“We want one as bad as the man you sent to the other party.”
“You wait til the other party bad-mouths the guy you got. He’ll look bad enough.”
“You sure about that?”
“That’s one sure bet. Look: Why do you want such horrid candidates? I’d think you’d want a combination of George Washington and Mother Teresa.”
“Third Party!”
“What about Third Party?”
“We Major Parties have to have such bad candidates that we can warn everyone not to waste their votes on Third Party candidates or they’ll throw the election to, um, You-Know-Who.”
“Let me see if I have this straight: Both you Major Parties choose bad candidates so you can scare the voters into choosing the lesser of two evils rather than to throw away their votes on a Third Party candidate?”
“You got it. And we can’t afford to put up good candidates, because one would win and that would be the end of the graft and wars and waste we depend on so much.”
Glenn Jacobs / Eagar, Arizona
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