The R A N T of G L E N N glenn3@frontiernet.net
Glenn Jacobs / 130 N. Poverty Flat / Box 954 / Eagar, Arizona 85925 / 928-333-3517
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The krizmuz card
Letter to the editor;
Here’s this generic “krizmuz” card: Santa Claus and some magic flying reindeer wishing you happy holidays or some such innocuous greeting.
Here’s this other card, an actual Christian card: Let’s see, the really drafty wreckage of a former shack, camels, sheep, a donkey, a bunch of people in bathrobes -- and a baby. Much better. At least this card depicts what many people think might have happened.
Let us analyze the scene:
The Bible says Baby Jesus was laid in a manger. Not a word about the wreckage of a ramshackle stable. Joseph would have wisely rented someplace better than that. Maybe a stall in a fairly decent barn or carriage house? Anyway, some place out of the weather, with no fresh manure or swarms of flies.
Camels. Scratch camels. By the time the wise men got there, Joseph had rented a house. And, anyway, they were probably rabbis from across Jordan, and would have walked in – so probably no Persian kings and astrologers came in on camels at that time.
Sheep? No. No sheep. The Bible says at that time of year the shepherds were watching their sheep by night in the open fields nearby, not protecting them in buildings.
Donkey? Joseph was a carpenter. What would he need with a donkey to stand around all day eating up his wages? When Joseph bought lumber, he would have it delivered.
All those people in robes? That is fairly certain to be correct. However it is highly doubtful that lots and lots of them showed up all at the same time like that.
The Baby. Ah, YES, the Holy Child. The Son of God. The Savior of mankind.
Muslims know that child as Eess – a prophet of Allah to the Jews.
Jews don’t need to think a thing about that child. Hashem has something else for Jews.
Yoo Hoo, y’all who call yourselves Christians: Forget Santa Claus. Meet Baby Jesus.
Glenn Jacobs
Eagar, Arizona
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Some guaranteed sure-thing 2009 predictions
The R A N T of G L E N N glenn3@frontiernet.net
Glenn Jacobs / 130 N. Poverty Flat / Box 954 / Eagar, Arizona 85925 / 928-333-3517
Permission is granted to edit, print and/or broadcast these weekly polemical essays.
(To subscribe -- for yourself or a friend – or to unsubscribe – send the e-address.)
Sure-fire 2009 predictions
Letter to the editor;
I, the Great Glenn (“Sees all. Knows all.”) make my guaranteed predictions for 2009.
No matter who is finally inaugurated as President of the United States, hundreds of members of the Council on Foreign Relations (a private club) will be appointed to high positions in that administration.
However much money the government has been wasting, it will squander yet more.
The new administration will continue our illegal undeclared wars.
However many thousands of pages of foolish regulations they have saddled American commerce and industry with, they will write even more.
However many treaties against American interests the politicians have stacked up, they will present yet more for ratification.
Every time the politicians make an agreement to cripple this country, they will hail it on the front pages as a great diplomatic triumph.
They will make progress in their drive to submerge the United States, Canada and Mexico under an unelected and unresponsive continental government.
They will make progress on the highway, rail and pipeline “corridor” from Mexico to Canada right thru the heart of the United States.
And they will make significant progress in outlawing herbs, vitamin supplements, home-grown foods, firearms, ammunition, concealed carry, and/or independent contracting.
Politicians will continue to lie to us.
The majority will continue to vote for the politicians who lie the best.
Glenn Jacobs
Eagar, Arizona
Glenn Jacobs / 130 N. Poverty Flat / Box 954 / Eagar, Arizona 85925 / 928-333-3517
Permission is granted to edit, print and/or broadcast these weekly polemical essays.
(To subscribe -- for yourself or a friend – or to unsubscribe – send the e-address.)
Sure-fire 2009 predictions
Letter to the editor;
I, the Great Glenn (“Sees all. Knows all.”) make my guaranteed predictions for 2009.
No matter who is finally inaugurated as President of the United States, hundreds of members of the Council on Foreign Relations (a private club) will be appointed to high positions in that administration.
However much money the government has been wasting, it will squander yet more.
The new administration will continue our illegal undeclared wars.
However many thousands of pages of foolish regulations they have saddled American commerce and industry with, they will write even more.
However many treaties against American interests the politicians have stacked up, they will present yet more for ratification.
Every time the politicians make an agreement to cripple this country, they will hail it on the front pages as a great diplomatic triumph.
They will make progress in their drive to submerge the United States, Canada and Mexico under an unelected and unresponsive continental government.
They will make progress on the highway, rail and pipeline “corridor” from Mexico to Canada right thru the heart of the United States.
And they will make significant progress in outlawing herbs, vitamin supplements, home-grown foods, firearms, ammunition, concealed carry, and/or independent contracting.
Politicians will continue to lie to us.
The majority will continue to vote for the politicians who lie the best.
Glenn Jacobs
Eagar, Arizona
Saturday, December 6, 2008
The ultimate political pressure
The R A N T of G L E N N glenn3@frontiernet.net
Glenn Jacobs / 130 N. Poverty Flat / Box 954 / Eagar, Arizona 85925 / 928-333-3517
Permission is granted to edit, print and/or broadcast these weekly polemical essays.
(To subscribe -- for yourself or a friend – or to unsubscribe – send the e-address.)
The Angel and the politician
Letter to the editor;
(An Angel comes from Glory to straighten up a politician.)
“Fear Not!” (That's what the Bible says Angels say.)
“Uh, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah – Oh, my GOD! I'm DEAD!”
“No. Not yet. And I’m not God. But I have a message for you from Him.”
“He wants me to stop voting for bills I haven’t read – doesn’t He?”
“Can you think of anything else?”
“Um, and vote no on bills about more than one thing?”
“And -- ?”
“And only bills that the Constitution authorizes?”
“Did someone else already talk to you about all this?”
“No. I, uh, um, er, ah, that is -- Why?”
“Because it didn't take long for you to guess. Have these issues been troubling you?”
“Er, well, a little, I guess.”
“Well, Mister Politician, that's the message. Now, whether you live forty days or forty years, you are responsible for what you said in your own words tonight.”
“Couldn't we talk this over? My party leaders would never understand . . . ”
“Lo, I have spoken.” Thus spake the Seraph, and forthwith ascended into heaven.
However, Angels hardly ever work politicians over like that, so it is up to us. Part of our civic duty is to remind our Beloved Leaders forcefully and often about these issues.
Glenn Jacobs
Eagar, Arizona
Glenn Jacobs / 130 N. Poverty Flat / Box 954 / Eagar, Arizona 85925 / 928-333-3517
Permission is granted to edit, print and/or broadcast these weekly polemical essays.
(To subscribe -- for yourself or a friend – or to unsubscribe – send the e-address.)
The Angel and the politician
Letter to the editor;
(An Angel comes from Glory to straighten up a politician.)
“Fear Not!” (That's what the Bible says Angels say.)
“Uh, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah – Oh, my GOD! I'm DEAD!”
“No. Not yet. And I’m not God. But I have a message for you from Him.”
“He wants me to stop voting for bills I haven’t read – doesn’t He?”
“Can you think of anything else?”
“Um, and vote no on bills about more than one thing?”
“And -- ?”
“And only bills that the Constitution authorizes?”
“Did someone else already talk to you about all this?”
“No. I, uh, um, er, ah, that is -- Why?”
“Because it didn't take long for you to guess. Have these issues been troubling you?”
“Er, well, a little, I guess.”
“Well, Mister Politician, that's the message. Now, whether you live forty days or forty years, you are responsible for what you said in your own words tonight.”
“Couldn't we talk this over? My party leaders would never understand . . . ”
“Lo, I have spoken.” Thus spake the Seraph, and forthwith ascended into heaven.
However, Angels hardly ever work politicians over like that, so it is up to us. Part of our civic duty is to remind our Beloved Leaders forcefully and often about these issues.
Glenn Jacobs
Eagar, Arizona
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